Life is uncertain, we know when it started, we don’t know when it will end. And most things in between are uncharted territory we have to discover and live through.
If guilt ruins our present moment for something that happened in the past and we can’t change, fear spoils our now and then for something that might or might not happen in the future. Both states of mind are normal or even useful if experienced in moderation, but very damaging when the mind is regularly hijacked by them.
Triggers are present in the environment, situations, people and increasingly stories we read in the news or social media can create emotions of insufficiency, lacking material or intellectual abilities, threats to our wellbeing.
To find balance between being aware of danger and letting go of it, is essential for a happy life. Fear of the unknown, of what might happen to us or the world at large is one of the biggest and most dangerous threats to our wellbeing in the modern world. We live in a comparatively very safe world, I love reading history and I write this with confidence. Today’s demons are not constant wars and pestilence (despite the current crisis) but loneliness and emotional stress.
Fear is the raw, basic emotion behind anxiety, a truly modern plague. A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. This is the definition of anxiety, the pathological form of fear. If maximising wellbeing and minimising suffering is a worthy goal in anyone’s existence, fear needs to be dealt with.
When I say wellbeing I mean mental but clearly physical too. There is a proven strong link between negative emotional states like fear and anxiety, brain circuitry, inflammation, and an increased risk of heart disease, the number one cause of early death. If you can’t think of preventing a disease that might develop over decades, think of your quality of living now. Fear is no fun, it’s the opposite of fun, it’s a nightmare.
Are you afraid of pain? Embarrassment? Rejection? I am too, everyone is, to a certain extent.
Life traumas and memories of embarrassing defeat, stressful times battling with people and situations with bad outcomes will work as painful scars to remind us of our limits and shortcomings.
And what’s really sad is that research shows experiencing chronic stress in childhood results in reduction in size of the brain and epigenetic shifts, predisposing us to be more vulnerable to future stress. Early life issues age us faster and increase the chances to develop chronic conditions. How much genetic predispositions also play a role, it’s very hard to establish.
To a great extent, this has to do with the amygdala. A small part of the brain, it regulates many aspects of the fear response, including release of cortisol, the master stress hormone.
Interpersonal early life trauma is associated with a myriad of functional impairments in adulthood, increased risk of drug addiction, and neuropsychiatric disorders. Changes to amygdala function can make a person more likely to react to triggers, especially emotional ones.
Have you heard the ancient greeks’ say: “Give me a child until he is 7 and I will show you the man”? It sounds terrible, I know. I also know there are remarkable people who were able to turn themselves round, even from the depth of darkness, to shine as healthy, harmonious human beings.
Fear as a weapon has been used for centuries to weaken and manipulate. Ever heard of moral panics? They arise when distorted mass media campaigns are used to create fear, reinforce stereotypes and exacerbate pre-existing divisions in the world, often based on race, ethnicity and social class.
Particularly if you tend to be sensitive to negative emotions and conditioning, please treat the media with reference and respect, and understand what it really is. According to Wikipedia, mass media involves the “commodification of symbolic forms (…) for the purpose of advertising, marketing, propaganda, public relations, and political communication. Entertainment. Public service announcements and emergency alerts (that can be used as political device to communicate propaganda to the public)”.
Are you prone to experience negative emotions and to get really worried, really soon? If that is the case, the best advice I can give you is to grow your Soul. If this sounds a bit new-agey and unscientific, bare with me. Spirituality has a way to make us all feel part of something bigger, something better than our immediate surroundings, our small lives. I personally had work related anxiety, 7 years ago, when I burnt out and left London on a quest for healing, change and transformation. If I am here telling the story right now, it is in no small way thanks to Yoga and a regular Yoga and meditation practice is something I will never tire of recommending.
In Tantric Yoga, fear is an emotion related to the root (Muladhara) chakra. This chakra is responsible for our sense of safety and security. To balance Muladhara we learn asanas (physical postures) and meditations that ground and connect us with the earth element.
If you are not into Yoga and spirituality, another effective way of letting go of fear is to believe in yourself. This is my mantra:
- I am a resourceful, capable person with enough prowess, intelligence and emotional resilience to withstand almost any problem I will encounter.
- I look at reality the way it is, not through the lens of the way I wish reality was.
- I take small everyday action towards physical and mental balance through healthy nutrition, exercise, intellectual stimulation and emotional connection with others.
- I seek meaning in a project, job or deed which is deemed useful and adds value to others.
- I reduce exposure to addictive and negative media, hyped news, hedonistic or nihilistic entertainment.
- I celebrate communion and success intensely and otherwise moderate stimulants.
- I live life as a gift, keeping structure when needed and letting go when possible.