We have packed schedules full of tasks and responsibilities, it’s hard to have the time to stop and ponder, really look at what’s happening to us. Sometimes you might think you’d like a better job, or a new relationship, or a new car, or a holiday in the Caribbeans. But unless something major happens in their lives, people don’t often take a broader view at their current lifestyles, with perspective and awareness.
A quick coffee in the morning, commute to work, meetings, colleagues, clients, lunch in front of the PC, back home via the gym or a bar for a drink with a friend, couch and TV, bed. Repeat. We are busy all the time.
Then it’s the much awaited weekend, one or 5 drinks on Friday night to unwind, a bit of shopping on Saturday, maybe dinner with friends, a few more drinks, quiet Sunday in front of the TV, or in the park. STOP RUNNING! Let’s take a step back for a moment.
How do your energy levels move through the week, a bit tired on Monday, wired or really down on Friday? Your body might be enjoying the ride or feeling strained and trying to letting you know through a myriad of small signs and symptoms. Fatigue and low energy being one.
Do you have close friends, a healthy relationship with someone special, or are you happy and grounded on your own?
One of the toughest things we can endure is to spend so much of the day, or I could say so much of life, in an office coping with a job we’d really rather not do.
And if you are always running, or in a dull job, or struggling financially, out of physical and mental energy, if your lifestyle is devoid of healthy pleasure, it might be difficult to have the means to learn new things, to progress towards greater awareness.
If your lifestyle doesn’t feel so great right now, maybe there is a recipe for success, a recipe for happiness. We can turn to psychology, sociology, philosophy to get some inspiration.
Have you heard of the old difference between wants and needs? Wants are often triggered by TV and mass media, efforts to keep up with the Joneses or other conditioning but unimportant factors. Wants, even when they are met, don’t give you long-lasting satisfaction. Needs are universal and everyone’s goal should be to try and fulfill them. This might be the recipe for success, as in real success rather than Hollywood success.
1- Maslow’s hierarchy of needs:
➧Physiological needs (like food and water)
➧Safety (good health, personal and financial security)
➧Love and belonging (family, friends and special one)
➧Esteem (stuff like respect and recognition come here)
➧Self-actualisation (realising one’s dreams or being contented with personal achievements)
➧Self-Transcendence (we’re getting spiritual here)
2- Or maybe human needs can be more simply expressed as:
➧Having perceived control over your circumstances
➧A feeling there is progress towards a better life
➧Connectedness with meaningful people as well as those you spend a lot of time with (e.g. coworkers)
➧Being part of something greater than ourselves
3- Yogis strive to reach enlightenment, the ultimate state of happiness, through practising the Eight Limbs of Yoga:
➧Yama (ethics and morality)
➧Niyama (good habits)
➧Asanas (physical yoga postures)
➧Pranayama (pretty awesome breathing exercises I particularly love)
➧Pratyahara (mastery of the senses – self control)
➧Dharana (meditation and connection with your inner-self)
➧Dhyana (more advanced meditation, connection with the divine)
➧Samadhi (the ultimate meditation, the total union with the divine – we can call it total happiness if you wish)
However you want to look at it, this happiness thing sounds like a lot to achieve. So much! How can we be successful at all of the above all of the time? It’s impossible.
There might be times when everything is working great but life is much more a cycle of ups and downs, where some of the important needs will be met whilst some other areas won’t be so good. That’s OK. Life is to be lived and not over analysed, feeling bad because uncle Jim isn’t getting back to that Merry Christmas email.
My grandfather was the single most contented person I’ve known. His recipe for happiness included a Spartan and healthy lifestyle. Very connected with nature, a self-taught herbalist and vegetables lover, he was very devoted and would go to church every day, twice on Sunday, for those who never attended church, he used to say. I’ve never heard him uttering a bad word about anyone. My mum thinks he was not always like that though. I suppose maturity and old age can make us better? I really hope so.
To be always successful and constantly happy is impossible. The second best thing is to strive to be present, more self-aware and feel the connection with ourselves, the world around and relax. Ultimately everything is going to be OK. Whatever path, whatever experiences, we’ll live through them. Let’s try enjoy the journey as much as we can.
To be more present, I practice Yoga. If you fancy trying something new this week, learn to be healthier and read about nutrition for instance. Or at least let’s give uncle Jim a call!